Anger
Anger is a short madness. I only knew this as a quote from childhood but never gave it a serious thought until anger started affecting my physical and mental state.
What?
Anger is often known as an emotion that crops up as a fall out of helplessness, jealousy, hatred, dislike, inferiority complex, inability, failures, losses, misunderstandings, misinterpretation, misdeeds, disagreements, and all controversies known and unknown in this world.
Why?
Frankly, giving it careful thought, we realize that often anger is because the other’s — people, situation, or actions did not meet our expectations. In other words, our expectation that is known to bring disappointment often manifests as anger. We try to find reasons for anger, we say that the other person is making us angry, the situation was such a temperamental one that anger was a sure thing there... And many such reasons we find out and reason out for our temper.
Then there is this narrative that unknowingly creeps into our minds that we are easily angered, we are temperamental, and we can’t control our temper. We won’t even know how this narrative came to be our definition of ourselves but somehow it just comes in at some point in most people’s lives. So what happens? The first reaction to anything is anger, either physical abuse or verbal abuse, or self-abusive behavior.
Then there is this power, authority, a role-defined ego that thinks that everyone around should listen to us because we are always right, always elders, always knowledgeable, always better than the other…. else they invoke our wrath. Their fault and never ours.
In all the cases of temper if we notice that we are affected deeply because of
a. Our perception of another’s mistake.
b. Our expectation.
c. Our inflated ego.
What happens?
Health issues. Relationship issues. Mental health issues.
While there is a whole stream of psychology devoted to anger, no one can claim to cure anger. They only say anger management because anger is an emotion and a real one that if channeled well like pain can bring great results. It’s only unchannelized anger or unacknowledged/untreated/untouched pain that causes all the bitterness in the body and the Universe.
You only need to manage the anger, which is like a natural resource on Earth. Use it wisely, so it can serve you better.
New angle?
Now that we have understood this much there is another angle to anger. Planetary influences and body types also contribute to all the craziness that we go through in our life and we often end up getting angry with people whom we love and those who love us most. It’s this wing that is often neglected even in anger management classes. For this wing, we only need to acknowledge the presence of the planets and their influence on our lives. That’s all. They will subside the temper sooner but we will need that kind of patience to withstand, as all good things take time. Planets/Nature are the way through which the Universe blesses us. As everything in this world is an energy form. You will need all the energy to run your body and for your body to be running on this moving Earth, there are balancing energies outside of the Earth too.
Just think about these and they will guide you to calmness. This will also make you believe that you aren’t responsible for anything in this world except what you intend to do while you are walking on the planet. The intention is again a subconscious purpose that will come to the surface but often we are so caught up with life and its tantrums with a temper, that we don’t know how to listen to our inner mind.
Remedies that are known to work
Breathe-in four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts and hold for 4 counts. This box breathing makes you focus on your breath and it does slow down your anger.
Drink water.
Meditate for five minutes morning and night. Morning can be normal meditation. Night can be prayers. Importantly, do this with faith in the course of life. Don’t question things that make you feel good! Don’t feel compelled by anyone or anything when it comes to prayers and meditation. You will not enjoy/realize it at all that way.
Do something for your being…Water a plant. Draw a picture, or listen to music. Whatever it is that you do, do it every day. I don’t mean, anger, office, home, or body care routine.
Pray every day. Smile every day. Give every day. Do nothing for some time every day.
For the believers: Forgive everyone as you aren’t doing the job of God. You are just another human being with extraordinary skills that God has invested trust in. You are answerable to God on your judgment day after you leave the Earth. For that appraisal, you work on this planet. Everyone you are associated with, in your life is part of God’s big plan to help you grow. God is great and we are guarded, taught, and rewarded without any partiality in our karmic book of Mathematics. No one is responsible for our life and its happenings except our own karmic indents with every passing lifetime.
For the non-believers: Just let it go! You don’t make the Earth spin. Forgive because it is much easier than carrying the hate/revenge/sadness/worry/anxiety caused by anger.
Blame no one. Waste of time and energy as honestly, it doesn’t take you anywhere ahead.
Love everyone for what they are and can be. Acknowledge that hate brings heaviness to the body and mind. Forgive because it’s not worth carrying the hate to the grave. Misunderstood reasons harboring hate can blow up bigger in the karmic book of accounts. No escape from this debt.
Travel light without amassing more and more wants and desires.
Give because it’s why we are here.
Say thanks because it is nice to thank.
Smile because only human beings can.
Cry because there is a need to be human.
Love because it’s life energy. The day you breathe your last, you stop loving on this Earth. If someone is able to feel your absence with fond memories of being with you at some point, it means you have lived!
After this reading, if your anger still matters to you, try to keep it for a week. You will see that the intensity subsides because no emotion can be at the same frequency throughout. It’s why in Tamil there is a saying: Aaruvadhu sinam. ஆறுவது சினம். :) It means ‘Anger will subside!!!’ Wait before you make your misfiring actionable entries — actions, thoughts, and reactions into your karmic books aka judgment books that architect your life here when you come in again.[For the non-believers, it means do not architect a difficult path for yourself with your impulsive response when you are angry.]
Conclusion
After all, anger is a punishment we give to ourselves because of things, people, and situations outside of us, often all those that aren’t within our control. If we are angry with ourselves, let go! It’s really ok! If we don’t forgive ourselves, no one else can. Realize the mistake and try not to repeat it. Keep trying till you get a hold of this.
The universe is very forgiving and so are Love and God. :) Never take all of these for granted though! :)
Lastly, why do I qualify to write this post? It's because I am beginning to experience the plus points of letting go of my temper and decided to share what I learned. Thanks for your time.